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my sister and i got e. coli from spinach a few years back
it was horrific

then we read this last week:

E. Coli Path Shows Flaws in Beef Inspection

we have been living on vegetables soup and cheese sandwiches ever since.

for a foodie that’s cold-turkey-night-sweats suffering…

from grass fed locally raised beef and organic vegetables to cheese

cheeeeeeeze   yep      cheeeeeezeee

L writes,

CHEESE, GROMIT -

M writes,
i own all of them
including shaun the sheep episodes
quote them often

i have actually eaten wensleydale cheese
weensleeeeedaaaale….

L writes,

wensleeeeeedaaaaaaaallllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

M writes,
i watch wallace and grommitt whenever i need a  pick-me-up…
then i watch fight club
cause that’s how i roll

soyf*cker

more like this

especially check out:

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/08/10/why-facebook-is-sooo-gonna-get-you-fired/

NBC has requested that The Macy’s Day Parade Committe disinvite the cast of Fox’s Glee.

and I thought Ben Silverman was the only jackass at NBC…

HuffPo has a great writeup about Superfreakonomics. I especially like the blurb about SUDHIR VENKATESH, a sociologist, who crunched the data only to conclude that feminism has cheapen the cost of oral sex with a prostitute. Go figure.

Here’s the promo.

“if Obama were elected, all salespeople will have to pool their sales commissions to give underachieving salespeople a “fair shake;” that hourly employees will pool their wages, including overtime, to help those who are “too busy to for overtime;” that top management was to be referred to as “the government,” and would be exempt from pooling because the law doesn’t apply to it; and that the last few people hired “should clean out their desks.”

The email went on  to say that

“If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you many want to rethink your vote on November 4th.

Don’t feel bad though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he’ll let you stay in hour home for as long as you want even if you can’t pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress [sic], you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts …”

The nutjob- Matthew Brandt, the owner of KK Office Solutions- actually signed the email. And he followed through on his threat, firing a salesperson with Democratic leanings.

i’m not kidding.
i didn’t make this up.
really.
read the whole sordid story at courthousenews.com

…was up all night talking someone off the ledge

M writes,

yep- that will cure for insomnia. crazy midnight phone calls from the edge? must be a mercury retrograde

L writes,

and a rotten one at that.

M writes,

i am dealing with this otherwise rotten mercury retrograde by watching fight club every weekend

g4 has been kind enough to play it every weekend this month.

“On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.”

L writes,

one of those “nobody gets out of life alive” moments, eh?

yah. i got it.

M writes,

or revolution begins with insomnia…
are you planning on blowing any buildings?

cause i’m down with project mayhem.

i call dibs for the

“… front row seats for this theatre of mass destruction. The demolitions committee of Project Mayhem wrapped the foundation columns of a dozen buildings with blasting gelatin. In two minutes primary charges will blow base charges and a few square blocks will be reduced to smoldering rubble…..”

if your insomnia leads to fugue states and your alter ego decides to bring down the republican party headquarters and all its ancilliaries, i’m in.

“…I know this, because L knows this…”

so i’m in my closet after having spoken to my bud who is going wtih me at the end of sept to nevada and sf for our bdays – we were talking about boots and i remembered my fringe trimmed hightop boots (the hippy kind from days of old) in my closet and so i looked for them and found one and pulled it out from where it was stashed and it was heavy – and i looked inside and found a bottle of vodka inside from who knows when.

made me laugh so hard.

but then i had to wonder what made me put it there in the first place. i’m not a closet drinker, but then again, i found it in my closet…

M writes,

hmmm…

are you sure you were sober when you put it there?

maybe it was just the most covenient place to put the vodka while you took your other boot off…

are you sure it was even you?

L writes,

no

perhaps

no

it said:

a day without sunshine is like, night.
on the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
i feel like i’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
remember, half the people you know are below average.
honk if you love peace and quiet.

he who laughs last, thinks slowest.
depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
support bacteria. they’re the only culture some people have.
monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
if you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
how many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? raise my hand.
ok, so what’s the speed of dark?
what happens if you get scared half to death twice?
i used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
inside every older person is a younger one wondering what happened.
light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright…until you hear them speak.

a little tweaking and we could publish it as a follow-up to
The Secret

M writes,
funny
i was thinking the same thing
sort of
well not really
i was really thinking that i want to write some now but i can’t write for dappjuice
cause i don’t feel like being intelligent
i feel snarky and cynical and would prefer to look down my liberal wingnut nose at everyone

L writes,
i just fucking love you.

M writes,
i thought the world was off-kilter
but it turns out to be an ok place to live after all

L writes,
ROFLMAO
one of the “girls” in our vegas trip was marge simpson’s sister – raspy voice et al -
i’ll have to send you the vid (if i didn’t already)

yeah – the world isn’t too bad a place, as long as you don’t have to raise anyone, clean poop or otherwise have responsibility -
next life i’m gonna be a militant lesbian with relationship issues, and who has no interest in cooking.

M writes,
next life i want to be june cleaver or marge simpson
they are both women who are fulfilled with their lot in life, have husbands who pay for everythign and can do whatever they want between dropping the kids off at school and when hubby comes home.
i can’t remember either of them ever doing laundry…

L writes,
yes, you are correct -
reality sucks and cartoonism rocks.
unfortunately, reality bites the proverbial cartoon arse.
and even so, i’m seriously considering leaving chris with mark and moving to sf to be with my cab-driver/musician fantasy wannabe, and blowing off any semblance of normalcy i may have left between now and the next twenty five years…
unless someone gives me a reason not…

which, i don’t see happening.

M writes,
sadly, after a month,  the cab-driver/musician fantasy wannabe will fart in bed, ignore you when you speak and want a blowjob after taking the garbage out.

L writes,
sadly, cabdriver-musician wanted a bj long before garbage day, (which i didn’t provide due to TMJ issues) neglected to take the garbage out after a home cooked dinner and farted in the car on the way to golden gate park.

i want a wife.

M writes,
i want a cookie.