i received an evil phishing malware infested spamalingus email today.
it said:
a day without sunshine is like, night.
on the other hand, you have different fingers.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
i feel like i’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
remember, half the people you know are below average.
honk if you love peace and quiet.
he who laughs last, thinks slowest.
depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
support bacteria. they’re the only culture some people have.
monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
if you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
how many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? raise my hand.
ok, so what’s the speed of dark?
what happens if you get scared half to death twice?
i used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
inside every older person is a younger one wondering what happened.
light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright…until you hear them speak.
